Toys: Plush STDs

The big struggle this year for parents is whether or not they want to get their kids crabs or syphillis for Christmas. Apparently, some family oriented group affiliated with some church has begun marketing a line of plush likenesses of magnified STD's. The whole collection is here - AIDS, the clap, herpes, and much much more, truly a gift that keeps on giving.

Recommend: You know, there's something really wrong somebody who thinks that its a good way to scare children about sex and STD's by making the STD's all soft and cuddly. Mixed messages anyone?

Movie : ??????

(This should be in the spirit of the site...)

I rented this Korean Anime at Pedazo Chunk, the video store with all the imported DVDs. The cover looked cool, but it was all in Korean. I rented it, and it might have been called something like "Beautiful Girl Mari," but don't quote me on that because I'm not sure. Anyway, it was way weird. I mean, it was really weird. I'm still not sure what it was all about, but it looked neat and there was this furry girl that seemed to live on a mystical 200 foot tall dog. I'm thinking that I liked it.

Recommend? Yeah, I think so. If you see this movie--it's box has like, some green stuff that might be sort of like bamboo, and a kid, and this floating girl with what may be white fur all over her body instead of clothes--I'd suggest renting it if you like things that are really weird. Maybe surreal is the word.

Movie : Steam Boy

Steam Boy is a feature-length anime film done by that guy that made Akira. The story was completely preposterous! It was full of rediculous action sequences obviously designed as nothing more than eye candy. The plot was full of holes ("Why is that ball so powerful again? Why doesn't it ever seem to run out of steam?") and there were some pretty corny lines of dialogue. It was totally sweet.

Recommend? Yes! This had some of the coolest animation I've ever seen. As Akira was a cut above back in the 90s, Steam Boy is a cut above today. Mindless fun, wicked sweet cartooning.

Book : Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

*NO SPOILERS*

Bah, I knew it! I mean, I second guessed and third guessed and fifth guessed myself a million times over, but I knew it! Deep down inside we all knew it.

Here is the sixth book of a series that I originally told myself I would never read and has ended up being my favorite series of all-time. The only thing that sucks is that I doubt I'll ever be so engrossed in such a stupidly wonderful story for the rest of my life.

Recommend? I will only say two things. First of all, the last book better be the last book. And second of all, the last book better be over 2000 pages long.

Games: Cell Phone Games

It's as if they were releasing new games for eight bit systems, only it's also as if eight bit systems had the capacity a reasonable spectrum of colors. Each game is as beautifully pointless and repetetive as the last, the only variations deriving from assigned titles and minor changes in the graphics. Side scroller after identical sidescroller. RPG's with characters that are little more than blobs. The ones whose characters actually resemble the human form are advertised for their graphics. Great sound means at least four different beeping sounds make up the theme music and death sounds.

Recommend: Don't pigs not fly sailing through the moonlight and the clouds, only to spiral higher into the sky until they vanish betwixt the stars leaving little but a trail of glowing dust and a sad feeling of loss in the seat of mankind's belly?

Things Coming Soon: Live Action Transformer Movie

I've been following stuff on the live action Transformer movie, and I have to say that as beautiful of a concept as I think that is, I also think it is a horrible idea. Most importantly, there's going to be nothing live action about it. All the stuff that would be cool to see live action will be CGI. Then again, as we've learned from Square Enix, mechs turn out pretty damn sweet in CGI and everybody loves to see beautiful mechs blowing each other up on an epic scale. Especially transforming mechs. I was a transforming mech once. It was beautiful and maybe this will be too. Or it could suck.

Recommend: I think that everyone should become a live action mech and run for robot politics.

Movie : Oldboy

This movie was so sweet I'm not sure why you are trying to find a copy and watch it right now. I mean that, too. I laughed, I squirmed in my seat, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. You totally get to see a guy cram almost an entire live octopus into his mouth, and uncomfortably laugh at many things you never thought would be funny.

Recommend? Oh sweet lord yes yes yes.

movie: Persona

this is my first Ingmar Bergman movie. fairly strange. a lot of familiar imagery which i suppose has been copied down through the years, maybe starting here. "a poem told in images", so it is said.

recommend: now i understand all that, um, idiom i've always seen satirized or imitated, where there are quick black-and-white shots of disturbing imagery, people alone in empty rooms shouting and crying, and long monologues about loneliness and emptiness accompanied by sex and/or blood and/or screaming.

Movie: The Jacket

Pretty sweet Jacob's Ladder-esque war veteran psychological movie with a cool style, some pretty freaky stuff early on, and a tame but admittedly suprising ending.

Recommend: Yeah, if you like Jacob's Ladder-esque war veteran psychological thrillers with a touch of time travel thrown in.

Movie: Sahara

Not bad for a wanna be Indiana Jones flick. Entertaining, cool action, cool chases, loaded with cliches. Nice touch of flesh eating disease fear. Yum...oozing pustules...

Recommend - good one to relax to. Look for depth, development, and meaning in the comic pages. You'll have better luck finding the meaning of life in Snoopy.

Book: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Oh. My. God. This book ruled. Rockin' plot. Rockin' end. Ooh- and the darkness of it all. Can't say more because I refuse to ruin it, and this actually is a pretty vague review.

Recommend: If you do not read this book, you raise the likelyhood that someone will kill you.