Movie : Musa

This movie was Korean and a battle epic sort of thing. People got shot in the neck with arrows quite a few times, and let me tell you, each time it was a little rough. You don't see too many arrow-neck-shots in American movies, and they are pretty beautiful. Also this movie contained the chopping off of heads with bad-ass spears with blades on the end. Add nice cinematography and a babe-princess, and you have a winner.

Recommend? Yes, see neck-shots, decapitation, and babe-princesses.

Activity: Buying Fireworks

Living out in Pegram, TN, it is impossible to look at how little civilization is out here and think how nice it would be to blow up little bits and pieces of what little there is here, dirt, grass, pebbles, etc. But man, supply and demand. They know that as the fourth of July approaches all true Americans will get the urge to blow things up (I guess we're supposed to have that urge all the time with it intensifying at the 4th, but I just don't always want to blow things up), and Pegram caters to that urge, setting up striped tents all along highway 70.

But, you know, as much as I enjoy a good detonation or two, an explosion here and an explosion there, the actual blowing stuff up is just not quite as good as wandering through those fireworks aisles, looking at all those gunpowder stuffed goodies, and wondering precisely which way I want to blow something up. Do I want to blow up that apple with black cats or thundercrackers? Should I launch bottle rockets or saturn missiles at the birds? Literally hundreds of ways to destroy things are layed out on the shelves, and the rest is just the work of the imagination. Pick anything. Combine anything.

Do I recommend? All I say is this: Blowing stuff up out of pointless patriotism is the right our founding father's died for, so we'd damn well better honor their memories and the infinite possibilities for harmless destruction.

movie: LAND OF THE DEAD

i've seen more theater movies in the last month than in the whole last year, and this one definitely had the most zombies. it also had the most killings of zombies by people, and also the most killings and then eatings of people by zombies. it was a nice time, had by all the freaks in the theater with us.

recommend: if you like to see people torn into small pieces and then eaten, in color close-up, by dead people, this is by far the best movie for you to go see right now. i've seen revenge of the sith three times now, and not once was someone eaten by a zombie. also, this zombie movie has Dennis Hopper.

Movie : Blade

Hey, the first Blade movie is good. And Whisper DOES die it in...though he is very alive and healthy in Blade: Trinity.

Recommend: Yes! Especially if you want to know the reasons why some studio funded Blade: Trinity.

Movie : The Devil's Backbone

There was a scene where there were these jars with dead babies floating in liquid, and this guy got a ladle and spooned some of the baby-jar-liquid into a cup, and then he drank it.

Recommend? Clearly, I do.

Internet Dialect : l33t5p34k

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Recommend? 0n1y !ph J00 r011 MMP()RP6z.

Music: System of a Down: Mesmerize

So I like music with violent changes, disjointed lyrics about horses watching jet pilots and pizza toppings, and I figured that after three good albums, System of a Down would not fail to meet expectations. Unfortunately, this is album is one of those cases where the album met expectations too well in one of those strange combinations that isn't really either pleasing or interesting.

Yeah, they've still got political lyrics that occasionally sound really damn cool, but for the most part, on Mesmerize they're kind of like Rage Against the Machine yelling about the endangerment of subarctic manitees. And man, the repetition is just annoying at times, and not in the cool way like They Might Be Giant's Whistling in the Dark.

Furthermore, the changes are abrupt, but they're so regularly abrupt that they're not abrasive anymore. SOD is supposed to hurt at times while you listen to it because you turned it up for the cool quiet part and didn't turn it down as the guitar slammed back in. Instead, you kind of think, the loud part is about to happen. Then it does. But it just doesnt seem as loud.

Recommend: Yes if you want something generically on the edge.

Movie : Blade: Trinity

I haven't seen any of the other Blade movies, but I hope Blade: Trinity doesn't speak for the other two.

The Bad: Triple H as a vampire, Dracula as played by some hammerhead looking dude, Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel as action stars, and a techno-light-saber-bow-thingy made from concentrated UV light to slice thru vampires, yet was only used maybe twice.

The Good: laughing @ Triple H as a vampire, Dracula as played by some hammerhead looking dude, Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel as action stars, and a techno-light-saber-bow-thingy made from concentrated UV light to slice thru vampires, yet was only used maybe twice.

The scene with the dead blind girl should have won an Oscar.

Recommend? HELL YEAH! This movie sucks so much it rocks.

Tool: Non-flammable compressed gas duster

Starting from one of the best generic names I've ever encountered, this thing rocks. What a wonderful world we live in where you can buy air in a can. The dust just went poof straight up in the air and only half of it settled back down on the board. I always wanted something that would do my jobs half-assed for me. Not only was I able to sort of clean the boards of my computer with this thing, but I was able to scare the hell out of my dog. I didn't even have to try - the sound of the escaping air made the pup tuck it's tail between its legs and huddle up shaking in the corner. It's like buy one get one free except that buy one get one free doesn't inadvertently result in urine running down a puppy's leg. Not that I'm advocating scaring the hell out of puppies, but as a comedic side effect...thumbs up. And just think of all the other things I can clean! Surfaces, containers, openings, and coverings! I could go on an on! The air's even cold, so if it wasn't dangerous it could make an impromptu way to beat the summer heat!

Do I recommend? Oh, yeah I recommend. Doesn't clean so great, but man, it's air in a can.

One Star For Traffic

You know, you'd think a place that so many people spend so much time in would be more exciting, but I've got to say, I am really disappointed with my experience with being in traffic. I've called so many people on their cell phones and they've told me that they were in traffic, and I got really interested in finding out what this "traffic" thing was all about, so I got in my car to try it out for myself. Let me tell you: what a damn waste of time. The production values were terrible. All it was was a bunch of cars on a road. Who do the public relations people for traffic think their fooling? Do they ever expect to sell such a ludicrous idea? You'd think they'd try for some plot development, but instead its just stop and go until the y split. Stop and go to the stop sign. Stop and go through the red light. It's all so damn predictable and there's no motivation for any of it. The character development is as superficial as a freaking bumper sticker or something stuck to a rear window. Furthermore, the atmosphere was terrible, all stifling sun through the windshield, the smell of tar and rubber and exhaust and that dead thing by the road, sometimes honking. All in all, I've got to give traffic one star out of five, a disappointment on all accounts.