Living out in Pegram, TN, it is impossible to look at how little civilization is out here and think how nice it would be to blow up little bits and pieces of what little there is here, dirt, grass, pebbles, etc. But man, supply and demand. They know that as the fourth of July approaches all true Americans will get the urge to blow things up (I guess we're supposed to have that urge all the time with it intensifying at the 4th, but I just don't always want to blow things up), and Pegram caters to that urge, setting up striped tents all along highway 70.
But, you know, as much as I enjoy a good detonation or two, an explosion here and an explosion there, the actual blowing stuff up is just not quite as good as wandering through those fireworks aisles, looking at all those gunpowder stuffed goodies, and wondering precisely which way I want to blow something up. Do I want to blow up that apple with black cats or thundercrackers? Should I launch bottle rockets or saturn missiles at the birds? Literally hundreds of ways to destroy things are layed out on the shelves, and the rest is just the work of the imagination. Pick anything. Combine anything.
Do I recommend? All I say is this: Blowing stuff up out of pointless patriotism is the right our founding father's died for, so we'd damn well better honor their memories and the infinite possibilities for harmless destruction.
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3 comments:
hey, in my opinion pegram has a great 4th of july thing. i haven't been in a few years, but in my memory at least it's a nice, coherent small town party where everyone seems to get along fairly well. lots of fireworks too.
try making a super sparkler! buy like $50 of sparklers, bind them all up into a big cylinder with one poking out of the middle, then light it. it lasts about 3 seconds, but it will burn your retinas. or retinae. yes.
You know what the best always was/is? It's the leftovers.
Whoops, this pack of firecrackers got left behind. Now where's Sergeant Slaughter? Gosh, so many bottle rockets. Let's shoot them at each other. Oh man, let's pile gravels on these M80s and see how many projectiles they can sling.
Ah! All good memories. I think Sgt. Slaughter's head is still somewhere... Oh, and Shipwreck. Now, Shipwreck, I am really sorry that I taped M60s to you, you were pretty cool. And that parrot you had. Was it worth it? Hmmm...
Ah, blowing up Gi Joe's - we became true american's the day we blew up the icons of the TV show about patriotism.
However, I must admit I detonated more of my brothers Star Wars figures than I did my own Gi Joes. Somewhere in a box in my attack, there is a ziploc bag full of partially burnt heads, mostly stormtroopers.
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